Happy Tuesday

Happy Tuesday. How do you do?Happy Tuesday. I’m fine, and you?I’m thinking ‘bout the weekendYes, I agree. Me too.No one ever cared for TuesdayA point I simply sayTuesday’s insignificantNot black or white. Just gray.Monday it kicks off the weekAnd is nothing short of bleakFriday its antithesisGateway to the end you seekBut Tuesdays are just thereLike an ever steady “fair”Free of spirit, praise or

Caffeine Shower Head

The Caffeine Shower Head© is here! Tired of waiting for your cup of coffee to wake you up each day? Sick of stumbling around the house as your java cools? Bored with the novelty of the Caffeine Pants? Always on the lookout for the new and exciting? Well, your wait is over!A new product from Really-Alert is here! The Caffeine Shower Head©!The Caffeine Shower Head© works through a patented process

Letter To a Toy Manufacturer

Dear Toy Manufacturer,Hello. I writing this letter because I need to get something off my chest. Normally I would take a bit of time to inquire after your well being or thank you for whatever service you render. I just want to say, that while I wanted to do these things, I could think of nothing polite to say. I’m sorry.I hate your guts. That seems a bit harsh. Let me try it again, I think you’re

Advice

“Ready for the big race?”“Excuse me?”“The race... Are you ready for it.”“I’m not here for a race. I’m here for carrots.”“Ah. So then, what’s with the big number Eight on your side?”“Can’t get carrots without it! Gotta get the carrots! WHOO!”“You, uh, like carrots then?”“Like carrots? No. I love carrots! I mean, obviously! Why else would I be here? I mean why are you here-”“Because-”“-I’ll tell

Lazy Thursday Blues: Why Game 2

Welcome to another edition of the Lazy Thursdays Blues. The Caption game has been going good, but I'd thought I'd break it up again with another try at why. It's pretty simple I enjoyed your answers from the last time we played. I call it the Why Game. This isn't like that annoying game you play with a six year-old. Instead I will pose a question and you will give me an answer. If you know the

Tackling Idioms

Anyone who has ever had to learn English as something other than their primary language, has had to struggle through the task of discerning idioms. As a public service I've decided to do my small part to help out. Consider the below as a small but helpful reference for a handful of idioms. It's intended for those who are still having trouble understanding these unusual and rather unique forms of

Letter To The Non-Caffeinated

Dear Non-Caffeinated;I hope this letter finds you well, though I have to say I believe that is a false hope. I honesty I’m not sure when I should be sending this letter to you. Are you awake as long as those of us who choose to par-take of the joys of caffeine? Do you start the day as I do with alertness and awareness? I really haven’t got any idea. Do you just past the day in the restless sleep

Coconuts

“So, what’s for dinner?”“Coconut stew.”“Again?!”“What do you mean again?”“Didn’t we have that last night?”“No. Last night was, coconut soup! I have to say I really liked that one, but I might change-”“And Tuesday? What did we have Tuesday?”“Coconut meat, served in a lovely coconut broth! My favorite! Before you ask, the day before was julienned coconuts in a hearty coconut stock.”“You know, I

Lazy Thursday Blues: Caption 17

I was going to play the why game this morning, but it seems that I've run dry. I poured all my creativity into a the caffeine pants post yesterday and nothing was left for this morning. I tried to turn on the funny faucet and I just got a trickle...so..It is once again Caption Thursday! I'll provide a picture and you provide the caption. It's a bit grim, but I like to believe everyone was

Caffeine Pants!

A Caffeine Revolution! Check them out at Legal Additive Stimulants. My last ditch effort to save a dying blog! Come and play in the caffeine playground one last time, before I run an interstate bypass through the center of it!

Order Now!

Order Now! Offer while supplies last! Limit one per customer! The perfect gift! Buy one get one free! Will never wear out! Special reduced pricing! Can be shipped to Canada, Hawaii and Alaska! A real bargain! Additionally If you order within the next ten minutes you also get the amazing noodle nibbler, and our patented pickle picker, free of charge!I love fun gadgets! Infomercials were easily one

Defeat?

I'm contemplating the demise of Legal Addictive Stimulants......Would anyone notice? I had a notion to maybe give one last try with it, but maybe it's not worth my time. Please take a moment or two and share your opinion if you are so inclined.Thank you for your continued patronage.KludgeEditor and Chiefkludgespot.blogspot.com

Collecting Chopsticks

Every once in a while an event takes place that is so monumental that everyone sits up and takes notice. It shakes our society to the very core and spreads joy around the likes of which we have never known. For those that experience it life will never be the same. For those who miss out, they will always wonder if it really was as good as everyone else has claimed.Such an event took place in my

Cooking with Math

Cooking = FoodFood = Good Taste Tasty Food = HappinessBy this simple proof I’ve decided that since I like to be happy I must also like to cook. I mean it’s pretty hard to deny that if A = B and B = C than A should also equal C. I’m not sure if it’s so. I don’t want to dismiss this obviously astounding mathematical proof I’ve created, but I’m having trouble with the solution.I’ve been thinking a

Lazy Thursday Blues: Caption 16

I thought last Thursday's Why Game went over very well. I hope all enjoyed it, because we'll probably be playing it again. Thanks to Patricia for the idea.For today I thought we would have some more caption fun. So it is once again Caption Thursday! I'll provide a picture and you provide the caption. This weeks picture has been in my folder for a few months, and I think you'll like it! As always

Letter To A Sales Clerk

Dear Sales Clerk at Computer Store;I know you must be surprised to be receiving this letter. I would guess you probably don’t get much mail at work. I want to start by saying I’m sorry for you. I’m sorry you’re in a job you cannot perform. Additionally that you have started to kid yourself, and your customers, into believing in skill that you neither possess, nor will ever acquire. I don’t mean