Good Morning

"If you wake the children I will rip off your head and throw it in the trash can!"That was how my wife said Good morning to me today. "Kids sleeping in today?""Shh! You're so stinking loud. I promise I will make good on that threat."

My Father the Plumber

I was just reading a friends a Facebook update. "There's no better way to start your work day than by fixing a leaking faucet..." This sent a rush of memories flooding back to me. While I was growing up, finding out that the old man was going to start a plumbing project was akin to hearing that there was going to be a nuclear assault in our bathroom. In fact a nuclear assault might have been a

Socially Deficient?

Two words, Chick Magnet. Did I mention my poles might be reversed?

NyQuil Is My Friend

NyQuil is a friend of mine,He helps me drift to sleepHe doesn't sing a lullaby,Or waste time counting sheepNo, NyQuil isn't subtle.He isn't shy or meek.He levels me with medicine,That make my eyelids weakI do not like the taste of itIt's flavor kin to vileBut if the sludge will help me sleepThen I'll slurp it with a smile.While sitting in the kitchenUpon my counter stoolI swig a shot of

Hats

Soo... Where to begin. Oh! I know. I'm furious!! Yeah, that's a good place to start.I only get my hair cut every two to three months. I just don't like the hassle of going and getting the cut, dealing with all the itchy clothes and making small talk. Monday night I stopped by the local Great Clips to get a hair cut. It had been over three months and I was beginning to look silly. I've been going

The Car Recall

"Did you hear about the recall?""Excuse me?""The car recall! Did you hear about it?""I have no clue what you're saying.""Seems they are recalling 1.5 million cars.""That's going to take forever! Who's doing it.""The car company employees I suppose....who else would do it?""Are they asking thier friends to help?""What? Look I have this funny feeling that you and I aren't on the same page. Cars.

Software Coders Needed

I hate coding. Seriously I'm the last person you want staring at code all day. I'm dyslexic and my brain is completely disorganized. I have never been capable of thinking in a straight line. I work in circles rarely completing a full thought, and leaving sentences hanging in most of my conversations. I have never successfully followed all the directions in any manual or instruction booklet, nor